Yes, I Do Speak English

Indians living abroad, especially in English speaking countries, are quite often asked a question that takes us by surprise. I am sure that many Indians have been asked this question time and again and no, this has nothing to do with their line of work or anything else. The question, that may come across as innocent, is actually quite appalling. I have met at least five persons who have asked me about the fluency of my spoken English. It may come as a surprise when you are asked the very first time but when asked again and again, it becomes a little irritating.

Let me make  this clear on behalf of all the Indians who live abroad. Yes, we can speak English. There is simple reason behind this–we come English medium schools. Yes, we have lots and lots of those back in India. We not only have English as a subject but it is also the language used for communication in school and college and throughout our years of education. It may come as a surprise to you but we also use English at workplace. Our fluency may vary but most of us do know the language. Surprising as it may seem to many, we can read, write and speak English fluently.

I was first bombarded with this question around three years ago when my husband and I went mattress shopping. The saleswoman, who was in her late forties, was quite amiable and did her job well. Then she asked us for how long we had been living in the United States. I told her it had just been couple of months (We had just relocated back then). She looked surprised and I think she did try to control herself but failed and said, “Your English is perfect. Where did you learn to speak the language?” It took me a few minutes to recover from the question but my husband, who travels a lot and is probably used to this line of questioning, simply said, we come from English-medium schools. The poor woman looked shocked. We did not buy the mattress from that store not because of the stupid question but because it was too expensive.

Since it was the first time I was asked that question I did not know how to react. I have been asked the same question on many occasions and sometimes with a look of disgust, surprise, shock and many similar expressions but now I do not even bother to explain the Indian education system to them. I simply reply with a Yes and move on.

I can still understand if the question is asked by some middle-aged person. But someone who is young shouldn’t be so ignorant. Don’t get me wrong. I can completely understand that you are intrigued and think that people from India do not speak English and why shouldn’t you? After all, it is not our national language. However, the good part is that the India was ruled by the Britishers for a 100 years and whatever bad they did, they did manage to leave behind a few good things, the adaption of English language in our education system and it is being followed till date and becoming more and more advanced.

So, the crux is most of us who do get a job in English speaking countries or are transferred there, it is because we know the language. Why the hell would we be sent there otherwise? Think about it. Am I making sense to you now? I am sure I am.

 

Tracking the Tracker

It took me over a year to convince myself to invest in an activity tracker. I have always been skeptical about whether or not to buy one and if it would be of any use.
Before I get into the details of which activity tracker I finally decided to buy and why, I would like to mention that I have not always been an activity person. I started walking 10000 steps just about a year ago when I realised I was having small health issues every now and then. I started off by installing various pedometer apps on my  phone, one after the other, only to realise that they were highly inaccurate.  These apps sometimes counted steps when I was just sitting around and on many occasions they refused to budge even after I had taken 200 steps (I used to count my steps to check the accuracy of the app).
This, however, did not stop me from using these apps for over eight months and to tell you the truth it did work because I did end up losing 15 lbs. But then the accuracy started dropping drastically and I realised, on many days, I ended up walking 15000 steps. I know it is not a bad thing to do but sometimes you just end up feeling tired because however easy it sounds, 10000 steps a day is not an easy job, especially for starters.
So, now was the time when I finally decided to buy an activity tracker. The market is filled with activity trackers and every couple of months there is a new product available. It took me two months of online research and going through buyer reviews to finally zero in on Fitbit. Before I go any further with this product’s review, I would also like to mention that I don’t like wrist bands or the likes of activity trackers. I love watches and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. So I decided to buy an activity tracker that could be hidden and still achieve the same goal–counting steps and calories burned. I bought a Fitbit Zip. I do not like activity trackers that look like a watch. They are just too ugly to qualify as a watch and the once that do look decent have appalling reviews.
Now is that part where I tell you about this product. It is simply amazing. It is quite accurate and works great. I have counted my steps while walking and then checked the tracker to check the accuracy and I have not been let down. I have been using this tracker for two months now and I do not regret buying it. You have to remember that there is always 10 to 20 per cent margin of error in any tracker available in market. Fitbit, though the best brand available in market, according to me, is not perfect either but it gets the work done with nearly accurate results.
I like Fitbit Zip as it small and can be concealed easily. You can hook it to you belt or your bra strap and you are good to go. It’s accuracy is good compared to other activity trackers (I have not used any other brands but the reviews online gave a great insight on this subject). The battery life is  good and can last from 45 to 60 days. It comes with a clip, battery, wireless sync dongle and a battery tool (to help open and close the back portion for battery purposes). It wirelessly syncs to your mobile app. It is also sweat, rain and splash proof. What more do you want?
Finally, the most important part–money. It is priced at $59.99.
While it is expensive compared to other devices available in the market, it is the best in terms of accuracy.
So, all in all, Fitbit Zip a great product. I am really happy with it and the best part is that nobody realises that I am wearing an activity tracker. If you are planning to buy one, do not think twice. It is worth your money.

A Biased Write-Up??

Recently I read an article by a Chicago-based writer/journalist/entrepreneur on why you shouldn’t date Indian women. I think the writer thinks that his article is quite extensive and that he has covered all the salient features on the topic and has divided it in five points: 1) They (Indian women) are unattractive, 2) They are prudes, 3) They are self-loathing, 4) They are feminists and 5) They are mentally ill.
Each pointer describes in details the problems that men, like him, face while dating Indian women. I couldn’t help but feel that the article was nothing short of degradinnsulting and generalising Indian women. I am an Indian woman and I don’t think any of your points makes sense. I think you have been meeting all the wrong girls or probably they simpy weren’t interested in you and ended up acting like the way they did. You sound like a heart broken puppy whining on and on and the only way you could retaliate was by writing a stupid write-up which does not make sense. It is like Indian women seeing you and thinking that all American men are fat, bald, ugly and like vomiting wherever they can, like you did in this write-up. Honestly, I’d act all shades of crazy just to get you off my back and that is only if ever make the stupid mistake of  letting you walk by side.
Here’s what I think Mr. Chicago-based writer/journalist/entrepreneur I am an Indian woman and I don’t think any of your points makes sense. I think you have been meeting all the wrong girls or probably they simpy weren’t interested in you and ended up acting like the way they did. You sound like a heart broken puppy whining on and on and the only way you could retaliate was by writing a stupid write-up which does not make sense. It is like Indian women seeing you and thinking that all American men are fat, bald, ugly and like vomiting wherever they can, like you did in this write-up, and forming a shitty generic opinion.
What is wrong with not wanting to do something when it comes sex? Let me ask you, how many Indian women have you dated/slept with? One? Two? It can’t be more than three… And that has helped you write a thesis about Indian women? Really? What I don’t understand is why you kept dating them after having a bad experience the first time? Did you ever think that the problem could be with you? I am sure American women treat you the same way. They think of you as disposable commodity and move on. Let’s admit it… You are not even close to fitting into the catergory of decent looking men. I mean look at yourself and you talk about Indian women being “unattractive”. Now, that’s something. I don’t even want to know why you decided to date them. Was it before or after dating them that you discovered that they are unattractive? And yes, the part where you said that we are hairy.. Oh yeah, we sure are because we know that somewhere there are bald people like you and we compensate by your share of the hair. We chose to be hairy. It was something that we couldn’t resist.
The part where you mentioned that we start putting on weight as soon as we get a ring on our finger, I couldn’t agree with you more. So, tell me how many Indian women have you spoken to about this? Do you have statistics that prove that? I am sure you do. Have you ever been to India? Have you are ever stepped out of the United States? Where did you get to know so much about us? Are you planning to write another book on us based on the lines of your previous book Do The Philippines? Please contact me if you want to know why we avoid men like  you.
What I really think is that you have failed miserably when it comes to Indian women. You probably tried but didn’t get any action and that is why you sound so frustrated. Here is an advice for you… Forget Indian women. They are not meant for you. We will not go for a loser like you. We want a man not a rotten egg. We have taste, you see. And yes, please keep writing shitty books on how to do women. It really suits you.. a man who probably gets no action.

Views are Personal

I am not a big fan of Aamir Khan. I think his mantra of perfection is a bit too overrated and his movies just about average. But the way he is being targeted by some people in India and abroad is utterly disgusting and all this because he expressed his views.
Many pro BJP channels have been playing a small part of his interview taken at Goenka a
Awards again and again and blowing it out of proportion. Some news channels have gone to the extent of choosing countries for Aamir Khan where he could go and stay and then talking about the problems in those countries.
Firstly, people who have been giving Aamir advice of leaving the country should watch his interview fully and understand the context in which he said what he said.
Aamir said that his wife said that they should settle in some other country and that it is a big statement coming from her. I want to ask all those idiots, who have been making a big issue about it if they have never once wanted to settle anywhere else either for money or for any other reason?
He said that for the past several months there has been intolerance among people. Was he really wrong about it? Soon after the interview BJP workers protested outside his house and blackened his posters. What would you call this?
People who get an opportunity to work abroad jump for it and decide to stay there. Why do you think that happens? Don’t we abuse every time we get stuck in a traffic jam or when someone drives rashly? We all do these things and openly discuss about them. Why can’t Aamir Khan do the same? Just because he is celebrity does not mean he does not have rights to discuss these things with his family. He genuinely answered the questions he was asked and has since been targeted for his views.
A certain news channel has gone on a spree showing things that people should be intolerant about indirectly pointing towards Aamir’s statement. These news channels should be banned for blowing such small issues to such an extent.
Misuse of social media in instances like these is something that I don’t even want to mention about. People with no personal life or actual work took to social media and criticised Aamir for making such a statement even going to the extent of abusing him. These same people praised Aamir for his performance in many movies calling him Mr. Perfectionist every opportunity they got. If this is not intolerance then what is it?
A string of bans, one after the other, was just the start and a topic of discussion among millions of people but that wasn’t blown out of proportion because that wouldn’t make news, would it now? But when Aamir decides to express his views, media persons decided to pounce on him.
All I can say is that please get a life. It is not about leaving the country but how things are changing that is making people intolerant. We are a developing nation and known across the globe for being open to all cultures and open about our views. We have a reputation and by doing something like this you are not harming anyone but the image of this country. So please stop spoiling nation’s name but doing silly reporting and using social media ridiculously. GET A LIFE.

Two Minutes for Maggi

Of late social media is filled with messages on how Maggi (a famous Nestle ready-to-eat-noodles product in India) is filled with lead and people joking and passing stupid comments on the same. I am no one to say whether it is or it is not. I don’t specialize in that area. But what I do know is that Maggi has been an important part of my life. Maggi is not just one of my favorite items but it is also an food-for-emergency.

On days I don’t feel like cooking, Maggi becomes my savior. I am 32 years old and I have been eating Maggi noodles since I could chew and will continue eating it till I can chew. These people who have been blindly ranting about the percentage of lead in Maggi noodles on social media are the same who think that petrol prices were reduced because of the efforts of the current ruling party in India. You guys need to do a lot of homework.

I think every one in India has eaten Maggi at least once in their lifetime. Some of us continue to eat at least once a week even now. Maggi is available everywhere, and I mean literally everywhere, in India. I went on vacation to a hill station and went of trekking with my friends. Once we reach the top there was nothing around except a small tea stall. You don’t get any extra point for guessing which was only food available there except biscuits (I consider it as food when you have nothing else to eat). Yes, it was our very own Maggi, now supposedly filled with lead.

Maggi noodles is a stock-up item in almost every household in India just like water and canned food in USA for severe weather seasons. It is a food for all strata of the society. A small packet of Maggie is available for Rs 5. It is a food that feeds the hungry children that return home after school or after playing with their friends. So, just because someone got up and found out excessive lead content in Maggi noodles, people blindly started posting comments on social media to give their opinion on how the company has been fooling us for years. Tell me something. Did anyone of you ever think of Maggi as a healthy food? No. You just considered Maggi as a quick recipe to fill your stomach when you did not have the patience of cooking rice or dal or chapattis or vegetables. So, why just blindly believe in whatever is being said. Did you stop eating Cadbury after there worms found in it? Did you stop drinking Coke and Pepsi when pesticides were found in it? No. Then just hold your horses. You know you will continue eating Maggi even after all the controversy around it. I know I will. Just because you can say something stupid on social media doesn’t mean you should. Do something else for people to like and comment on your post.

Instead of banning Maggi there can be other ways to deal with the problem that reportedly persist. The packages found to contain excess lead can be disposed of and the company producing them should be fined but banning something sound ridiculous. Why were Cadbury and Pepsico not banned in India? There is more here than meets the eyes. So, if you are Maggi lover or have ever been follow the rule–take two minutes and think before blindly ranting on about things.

I will continue to eat Maggi. My two-minutes are over and I am going to eat my favorite noodles. You can go on and pass nonsensical comments on social media or just make yourself Maggi and think while you are eating whether you would really stop eating. If not then please shut the f**k up.

Death Finally Comes, Takes Her to Peace

Aruna Shanbaug led a miserable life. Once a pretty girl with dreams of great future lay motionless for decades before she finally breathed her last on Monday in a bed, that many called her home, in the municipality-run KEM (King Edward Memorial) Hospital in Parel, Central Mumbai.

For those who don’t know about this woman, here is her brief and painful story. Aruna worked as a nurse at KEM Hospital during the 70s. She was brutally sodomized by a ward boy, Sohanlal Walmiki, who worked in the same hospital. The reason Aruna was subjected to this torture by Sohanlal was because she repeatedly reprimanded him for stealing food and milk meant for animals. The rape in itself is a gory tale. In 1973, when Aruna was 24 years old, she was sodomized by Sohanlal in one of the basement rooms of the hospital where Aruna had gone to change after finishing her shift. According to the reports, Sohanlal could not rape Aruna because she was having her periods. The level of his depravity was such that he strangled her with a dog chain while sodomizing her. The pressure of the chain was such that it stopped interrupted the flow of the blood to her brain. After committing the heinous crime, he left her to die there but death did not show mercy. She was found in a semiconscious state the next morning by the hospital staff and thus began her traumatic journey. The doctors and nurses did their best to help her but the damage was irrevocable.

She was raped and sodomized by a man, who is now free and probably guilt free. Can you imagine the pain and the helplessness that she felt for 42 years? The one-word answer to this question can only be No. Nobody can feel the pain that this woman felt lying in a vegetative state. She could not move but I am sure she could see and feel. None of her family members or relatives bothered to visit her. While she lay there on the mercy of the nurses to feed her and clean her waiting for death to finally take her, Sohanlal, who arrested a few days after the crime. Seven years later in 1980 Sohanlal was released from jail while Aruna still had to suffer 35 more years. The man who had committed the ghastly crime suffered a mere seven years, while the woman, whose entire life was crumpled within minutes just for doing her duty, suffered for four decades.

The reason Sohanlal managed to walk free just after serving for seven years was because the hospital authorities did not register a rape case against him. This, they said was done to save Aruna from social stigma. Really? He was booked for theft and assault. The assault, though brutal, was not enough to keep the accused behind bars for a long time. Some reports said that he walked free and moved to Delhi where he started working in a hospital. No photograph of the man was ever published.

I sometimes wonder whether Sohanlal ever realized what he had done? I don’t think so. A deranged man like him who stole animal food and was depraved enough to commit the gory crime and walk away, probably does not feel guilty for his actions. And even if he does, there is no forgiveness for him; not now and not ever. In a mad frenzy to teach Aruna a lesson, which he thought was by showing her her place in the man’s world, by raping her, he took away her life. I wish Aruna had died in that basement room that night and instead of suffering for 42 years.

I not only blame Sohanlal but also the hospital authorities, for not revealing that Aruna was brutally raped, the legal system for not taking into account the anal rape as the finger test revealed that Aruna was still a virgin and Aruna’s family and relatives, who stopped visiting her at the hospital.

The nurses of KEM did a wonderful job of taking care of their friend and colleague for years and even went of strike when a decision to shift Aruna to another hospital was taken by the government. The nurses are the only ones who stood by Aruna till her last breath and kudos to them for that.

I am glad that Aruna is dead. May she finally rest in peace.

The Lazy World for Online Shoppers

Shopping online has made our lives much easier. The world is literally at your fingertips. Sitting in the comfort of your house, you can buy almost everything online these days from medicines to undergarments. I am a big fan of online shopping but I would be totally lying if I said that I don’t miss those days of planning and going-out-shopping days with my family or friends. It was a sort of outting that was planned well in advance and along with it came the lunch and/or dinner out as it was too tiring to come back home and cook.
I am going to list down a few pros and cons of shopping online which many if you may or may not agree with. But this is what my experience with e-shopping has been so far.

Pros

● Comfort and convenience- E-shopping is a much easier way and comfortable way of shopping. You can sit anywhere and purchase things. All you need is internet and your debit card. Many online shopping portals offers cash-on-delivery, so having a credit or debit card is not really necessary. The reason online shopping has become such a craze is because it brings the world to your fingertips. Going out and shopping means exertion of going from one shop to the other until you find something you want and not finding what you want means a day (or at least) several hours wasted. Online shopping makes your life easy. You can sit in your airconditioned house and search for specificall what you want and the results will be thrown back at you within seconds, considering you have a good internet connection. So, this saves a lot of sweat, literally.

● Everything under one roof, so to say- Unlike earlier days when you had to physically go shopping and go from one shop to the other till you found something that you desired, online shopping brings all the brands and various price ranges to your fingertips. With proper filters in place you can about buying anything within your budget.

● No planning required- Online shopping does not require any planning. You can be anywhere and just buy anything whenever you want without having to change your schedule.

Cons

Most of the cons are related to the pros of online shopping

● Comfort and Convenience- Before online shopping became a part of our life, we used to go to several shops and find the things that we wanted and sometimes at cheaper rates compared the last shop we went to. During these shopping trips we discovered new items and everything kept aside it was sheer fun to go out with your friends and family to buy something new. Sitting at home at buying things, although easy and convenient, has in many ways made us lazy. We are too lazy to step out of the house and buy things online and many of us compromise on many levels including the quality and price. Also, online shopping has completely killed the concept of getting together and buying things for yourself and your loved ones. Online shopping can never reach the level where you can touch and feel the things before you decide to own them. Remember those days when you used to go out shopping? It wasn’t only shopping that you did. You talked, ate together and spent time together among other things. Also, it was sort of a workout to go out shopping. With the concept of free delivery at your doorstep it is impossible to burn those few calories when shopping online.

● Can be expensive- Online shopping forces you to buy things without actually knowing the exact price of it. While some things are cheaper many things are more expensive. You wouldn’t know it because you did not bother to check the shop close by. I am sure if before you hit the ‘Buy’ button on the website if you try to search for the same product nearby, you’ll get it cheaper.

● Compromise- Since you have decided to buy something online, there is hardly any chance that you will go looking for exactly what you want.  You’d probably compromise on the price, quality and other things that you want. However, the convenience usually makes up for that part. 

Everthing said and done, I am a huge online shopping freak. That is probably why I could list down these pros and cons. The convenience obviously has made me lazy but I am not complaining.

The Consumed Consumer

Remember those days when your parents used to have really long discussions before buying a television or a refrigerator? That first television set at your house and the first sip of the cold water? The discussions would go on for days on whether buying such an expensive thing would be a wise decision for this month or whether it should it should be postponed for later.
I still remember the happiness of watching a TV show for the first time and the feeling of that cold water in my mouth even though it was a good 20 years ago. That feeling of experiencing and feeling good about something new does not exist any more.
The buying power of people has increased tremendously from only only one household in the building owning a television to every second household having at least two TV sets. The novelty of planning and waiting before buying things has almost vanished.
This is true for at least all the strata of the society except, may be, the lower income group.
This is the case with most of the materialistic things. I am no different from any of you. I no more feel the joy of a new gadget or an expensive electronic item for my household like I used to before. May be, a day or two due to the newness of the thing but then it fades away even before I realize. Then the new item becomes just something you bought the other day and remains like that till it either wears out completely or is exchanged for something new. This is how it has become for most of us.
This also applies for clothes. Around 10 years back an average middle class family would buy clothes only during festivals, birthdays or other family functions. With the increase in the buying power buying clothes has become a bi-monthly, even a bi-weekly affair.
I have to admit, though this is nothing wrong but it has killed the joy of owning new things. The joy of having those two fancy dresses which were only worn for something grand or the joy of having anything new that, before buying, required months of saving, planning and patience. Now-a-days people buy things that they don’t really need and then stack them up, simply satisfied that they are now the proud owners of something new and expensive. I am one of them and trust me when I say this, I feel like a fool a few days later regretting the impulse of just buying something so that I can say I have it, if asked. The only people who benefit from the increased buying power of the consumer are the sellers.
The worst part about it is that this is either going to continue or become even better for the sellers. And we as consumers are just going to have more and more materialistic stuff with just a few hours of excitement for owning it.

Why Ban the Truth?

The hoopla in India surrounding the documentary, India’s daughter that was aired on BBC recently about the brutal gang rape of a medical student in December 2012, seems to be pointless and a waste of time. The documentary has nothing that is offensive. On the contrary, the documentary manages to highlight the sick mentality of some Indian men.
I don’t see why some people in India are against the release of this documentary. This documentary is based on a incident which occurred in our country. The two men, the defense lawyers, proudly support the accused, are Indians. It’s not like the documentary is a work of fiction and hence it would corrupt the mindset of some already depraved men. The things said in the documentary are the mindset of many indian men. People should be allowed to watch this documentary and those who till now have been thinking that the rape victims are to be blamed should feel ashamed of how sick their mindset is.
Unless this mindset is changed, victimisation of women in India will never see a decline.
To be honest, I wasn’t really surprised when one of the accused, who has been interviewed in this documentary, said that women should not step out after dark. What shocked me was the statement given by the two defence lawyers, who were defending this dastardly act. The two men, who I am assuming are educated and qualified to practice law, went to the extent of saying that women who step out after dark are inviting trouble and that after dark they should step out only if accompanied by a male member of the family.
I want to know if these men think that this incident could have been averted had the victim been accompanied by a relative? No, those deranged men would have still carried out the heinous crime. There was no way those men could have known that the man accompanying her was her friend and not her brother. Those men had reached a point where they just stopped being humans.
Hearing these two men speak it was like the documentary was being shot in Saudi Arabia where men consider themselves to be far superior to women, who are forced to wear burkhas and are forbidden to speak to men who are not related to them.
Everything boils down to education but for these two men are just literates. They are not educated. The parents of Jyoti Singh (the victim), who are illiterate, are more broad minded than the two lawyers. The father sold off some property, despite objections from his relatives, to let his daughter pursue her dream of becoming a doctor.
And for those men who think that women should conduct themselves properly and not step out after sunset and are to be blamed equally for rapes, balls to you. You have no rights to tell us what to do and what not to do. You are just a spineless bunch, who did not have to balls to stand up against your father when he was hitting your mother and subsequently started thinking that she deserved it because she was a woman instead of questioning his actions and when the local boys passed lewd comments on your sister you hid under the bed because she is a woman, too and deserves to be harrassed by anyone like you.
I suggest you go back to hiding under the bed because there will come a day when your daughters will be disgusted to find out what kind of depraved human being you all are.

Why is Aamir Khan Such a Pretentious Prick